Standing in the shower with the hot spray invigorating and comforting. The scent of body polish liberated from the back of the cabinet. A moment of clarity as hands travel well known paths. The curves and dips on a body that has changed over the years. Why does this squishy flesh adhere on this body like a barnacle that secretes fast curing cement that has a tensile strength of 5,000 pounds per square inch and adhesive strength of 22 – 60 pounds per square inch?
In that moment of quiet the answer appears full in my mind’s eye. We your fat your long lamented cursed fat have been protecting you. We have been holding your memories in a safe place. Holding your fears and anxieties until you were ready to let them go. Your emotions when too full but laden with self-knowledge are carried around until you reach that time when you can look inward with love and acceptance. When your mind is in that safe place we can say “Here we are!” We have been waiting.
Some of us are protecting vital organs and letting you know that you don’t need extra socks at night. We got you! Some of us in here in the gentle curve of your belly remind you how you felt in that first trimester when you and your body changed. Those gentle strokes across burgeoning flesh. That excitement of cells dividing and multiplying in that warm bath.
The hips that changed and morphed to provide a soft shelf for little bottoms to sit astride. That plush tummy that fit that little head just right as you brush back silky hair off a face of wonder and innocence.
The curves and dips mapped by the lover that excite and provide both familiarity and ecstasy.
We have been waiting for you to acknowledge us and come to a decision. Do you still need us? Is your new found confidence strong enough to rocket you forward to that inner vision of your best self?
Do you use lithe, strong, graceful, and resilient to describe the body that you want to match your new self?
We say to you it’s ok to keep what you need and the rest we will release from this time and place. We ask that you celebrate each day the changes. This is all of you. We will love and protect you always.
Dear Reader, You were a beautiful creation the day you came into this world and surrounded by people who loved you with an infinite depth of love and dreamed dreams of happiness and fulfillment for you all the days of your life. In your being all of this lies still. Stop and remember you are a beautiful being!